One liners

Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.

My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, “your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you ‘HANDSOME’, don’t take it as a compliment!

Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!

That awkward moment when you’re about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.