Fitness Jokes

Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer?
A: Show us your calves!

One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, “You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle.” This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. “You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras.” That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, “You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother.”

Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island?
A: He wanted maximum isolation.

I got stopped by a police officer on the way here. He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.

I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps… do you wanna help me verify this?

Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym?
A: Curls.