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Is it Lust or Love?

In the early stage of a relationship the sex hormones are raging and your brain is fueled by idealization and projection. In this state you see what you hope someone will be, or need them to be, rather than seeing the real person. This intense sexual attraction can be notorious for obliterating common sense and intuition in the most sensible people. It is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate. This is called lust. Lust is solely based on physical attraction and can affect your brain like a drug.

On the other hand, love is all about caring and forming an emotional connection beyond sexual attraction. Giving yourself entirely, fully, without any question to another person for a long time.

However being in love doesn’t exclude lust. In fact, lust can lead to love. Real love is not based on idealization or projection it requires time to get to know each other.

Here are some signs to watch for to differentiate pure lust from love.

Signs of lust

  • You are solely focused on physical attraction.
  • You are interested in sex not conversations.
  • You are keeping the relationship on a fantasy level and don´t discuss feelings.
  • You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling.
  • You are lovers not friends.
  • You don´t have plans for the futrue.

Signs of love

  • You want to spend quality time with he/she, other than sex.
  • You get lost in your conversations and forget about time and space.
  • Attraction grows as you know each other.
  • The thought of he/she makes you happy.
  • He/she motivates you to be a better person.
  • You feel content and fulfilled with the that person.
  • You want to meet his/her family and friends.