Christmas jokes

Why should you never mess with Santa?
Because he’s got a black belt.
A boy is running around his yard in early December, chanting, “I SO WISH I GOT A NEW BIKE FOR CHRISTMAS!”
An elderly man watches him go on for a while, then comes over and says, “Son, what is this about, Santa ain’t deaf, you know?”
The little boy, out of breath, smiles, “He probably isn’t, but my auntie Jane is.”
Little girl wrote to Santa, asking him to give her a baby sister for Christmas.
Santa replied promptly, asking her to send her mother.
I heard of a guy who shoplifted an Advent calendar. He got 24 days.
Little Johnny by the Christmas tree: “And are all these gifts from Santa?”
“Yes Johnny,” beams his mother.
“Oh, so you didn’t get me a darn thing again this year, did you.”
“Boss, can I take tomorrow off? My wife really needs help with Christmas cleaning,” asks Joe.
“Are you out of your head, man? I can’t give you a day off for this!” rumbles the boss.
“Oh thanks a lot, boss,” Joe smiles, relieved, “I knew I could rely on you!”
Why are there no chimney sweeps in Scotland?
Why pay for something that Santa does regularly for free?

Source: short-funny.com